Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
