My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
