YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
