is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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