There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
