Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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