this just has baby written all over it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize