just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
