I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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