I got chris browned last night
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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