This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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