My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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