I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize