so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
