I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
