I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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