VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
