do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
