And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
