like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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