here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize