you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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