I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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