take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
