How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
