I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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