come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
