i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
