Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Damn victory sex feels great
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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