Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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