She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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