i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
