it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
