i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
