When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
