He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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