Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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