dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
