so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
