was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
