I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize