I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
