I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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