So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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