i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
