I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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