Where is the hickey?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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