If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
