i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
