i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
