why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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