Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
