Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
