Quick, to the slutcave!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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