I murdered the dance floor call the cops
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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