you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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