I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
