If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
