i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
