I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
