i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
