Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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