you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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