Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
