My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize