are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
